Chivalry is Dead.

What do you do when someone falls down in front of you? Maybe I’m weird, but I offer what seems appropriate – I hand up, condolences, a sympathetic smile, further assistance if necessary. I need to mention that there are so many kind, caring, compassionate people in the world that I almost, but not quite, feel guilty about writing this post. Maybe I’m off base. Maybe I’m just unlucky when I fall down.

I don’t fall down a lot. I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve fallen down as an adult. It’s always embarrassing and sometimes a little painful but I’m built close to the ground with ample padding so I’ve rarely injured myself. Usually I feel a little foolish and hope that no one has noticed… or maybe not. Let me explain.The past three times I’ve fallen, more than my knees have been it has bruised.

A few years ago, I was waiting for one of my favourite little guys to get out of kindergarten and I slipped. There was ice under the water and mud and down I went. It was messy – I probably splashed. There were moms standing around, a few dads and school bus drivers waiting in their buses. I wasn’t hurt and I picked myself up quickly with only my dignity injured. Only one young mom approached me and asked if I was okay, was there anything she could do, did I want to go into the school etc.? I thanked her, told her I was fine. Her attention made me feel better. I like to think that’s how I would have reacted. After all, I am not invisible.

Then, last winter I fell while walking the dog on our usual path. Jake was acting like his usual overprotective, foolish self so I tried to make him sit behind me while a group of young people went past. These were not kids, but two couples out for a stroll. I tripped over the leash and down I went.

Embarrassing to do this on the pathway right in front of people, no? I got up and brushed myself off and glanced self-consciously at the passing 30-somethings. There wasn’t a smile or a nod – just what I translated as condescending stares at a silly old woman who shouldn’t be out there is she can’t stay on her feet. I silently cursed them to take their chances on the next patch of ice.

I was angry, not at them personally, but at an attitude that seems to be becoming more and more pervasive. Compassion for others seems to be lost. Don’t these folks realize how quickly the years pass or how instantly their own circumstances could change?

However, Friday morning’s incident was the icing on the cake. When I dropped off my grandsons at school,  I waited on the sidewalk and watched them  go to their respective doors. Then, as I turned to go back to the car, I slipped on ice and fell. No one seemed to notice and that was okay.

I wasn’t hurt. I didn’t expect anyone to come running to my rescue but as I began to pick myself up, a dad and his two kids came toward me. I had to wait as he and his kids stepped around me. Come on! He had to notice me there kneeling on the ground. But there wasn’t a word, a hand, or a smile. Nothing.

For some reason, this shook me to my core. When I returned to the car, I cried, not because I was physically injured but because I felt emotionally hurt, overlooked and insignificant. And I felt very, very sad because so many people are too busy to offer a smile, a hand up or kind word. What’s more, they are teaching their children that it’s okay to behave like that. I am not invisible, damn it.